|Faith to Walk Ministries||
From our heart to yours
|Faith to Walk Ministries||
From our heart to yours
Posted on October 8, 2014 at 4:30 PM
When thinking of marriage, people need to know there are some stretching things that individuals have to go through to make it successfully as husband and wife. Some of these things are easily adjusted and some take time to adjust - but must be done for it to be enjoyable.
Some of these ideas are hard...but if both (not just one), takes it to heart it will be soooo enjoyable.
1) Marriage is Committment
So you had the big wedding day...beautiful as it was...so what now?
You see so many people focus on the wedding day, which we should, but more focus should be on the marriage itself. That marriage starts the moment you say "I do."
Those words bind your heart in a commitment like no other. No matter your history...the one you are married to now is the one you are committed to - for life.
An amazing note found in the Life Application study Bible is found in the passage of Genesis 2:18-24 about a "help meet" and "one flesh" it says -
"God's creative work was not completed until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he made man. He chose, however, to make her from man's flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. This is the mystical union of the couple's hearts and lives. Throughout the Bible, God treats this special union seriously. If you are married or planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment which makes the two of you one? The goal in marriage should be more than friendship - it should be oneness." p. 8
That unrelenting commitment will get you through disagreements, trials, and stresses that will come into any marriage.
2) Marriage is Communication
Listen - That is one of the things that will make a marriage flourish more than anything else. We need communication.
You have to be each others best friend and confidant - period! You are the ones you share your greatest joys and victories with to your worst sorrows and defeats, and everything in between.
The only way we can draw closer to Christ is to study His Word, pray, and worship Him. In essence...communicate and spend time with Him. As well, this is the only way we can draw closer to each other. It is that way with any relationship in life, but so much more in a marriage.
The biggest part of communicating in a marriage is listening. Listening to the heart is the most important, even if the words don't necessarily come out right. The hardest thing to do is to choose the words wisely, but even harder...not hearing the meaning you think the other one is saying filtered through preconceived notions (This is a hard one to learn).
God has brought these verses to mind and how it applies to marriage.
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20
Speaking of the Life Application study Bible again; notes say the following. (WARNING - this may make you say OUCH!)
"When we talk to much and listen to little, we communicate to others that we think our ideas are much more important than theirs. James wisely advises us to reverse this process. Put a mental stopwatch on your conversations and keep track of how much you talk and how much you listen. When people talk with you, do they feel that their viewpoints and ideas have value?" p. 1887
The second note will make you really say OUCH!
"This verse speaks of anger that erupts when our egos are bruised - 'I am hurt,' 'My opinions are not being heard.' When injustice and sin occur we should become angry because others are being hurt. But we should not become angry when we fail to win an argument, or when we feel neglected. Selfish anger never helps anybody" p. 1887
This last point on communication is really important.
Don't let it fester.
We all get angry...whether it is our fault or the other's fault or both...we get angry. But listen to these verses...
"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27
Not all anger is sin, but what that anger could lead to can be sin. We have to be careful in that anger not to let it consume us or lead us to say or do things we shouldn't. We have all been there, so the answer is to be slow to speak so we can hear the words before they actually come out of our mouths.
Here it says that you can be angry, but sin not. It then says to not let the sun go down on our wrath. This means to not allow it to be carried over into the next day, as this will only give an opportunity to the devil. You see, how the devil does this is that he will tempt you to churn on it all night and into the next day...all day. It is so much better to come to an agreement and wrap it up in love than to let the devil get a foothold.
This next point is for men...since I am one. Woman, you are to respect your husband...but I will let God, and His Word address this one for you. There is also an amazing book called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs that you should read as well.
Like I said, this one is for men...it is a hard one and one that we will learn and do with our wives for the rest of our lives.
3) Marriage is Christ
Here is one verse that men need everywhere. It is a hard one, but nonetheless a pivotal point in an enjoyable Christ - centered marriage.
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Ephesians 5:25
Men your wife is God's. He is like the master gardener and His rose...your wife is His prize rose. He is only allowing you to help Him attend to it, just like He would.
Now before you say..."well, I have blown that so many times!" Well, we all have...that is why there is forgiveness from God and our wives. Forgive yourself and move on to greater heights.
I will keep with the Life Application Study Bible notes on this point, since they hit right to where I'm talking about.
"Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling the wives to submit (come under the protection of) to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? (1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. (Not only physical life, but wants and desires as well.) (2) He should make her well-being of primary importance. (3) He should care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to fear submitting (come under the protection of) to a man who treats her this way" p. 1788 - Parentheses added.
In essence He should love her as Christ does the church.
One more verse to close it off with.
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence (respect) her husband." Ephesians 5:34
"The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate the other person's needs, helping the other person become all that he or she can be." P. 1789
In closing...it is our prayer that you take these principles and apply them to your lives and watch your marriages flourish.
Remember in Who's power you and your marriage is in...Jesus Christ!
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13
- Pastor Aaron
(Life Application Study Bible copyright, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1993, 1996, 2004 by Tyndale House Publishing, Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois, 60188. All rights reserved)